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Flirting can be scary. What if you get rejected? Reframing that mindset is key to an enjoyable flirting experience, according to experts. Their first tip: Remember that it's not about you. We have a favor to ask.
And to do that, we need your help. Please consider completing a short, anonymous survey at npr. It'll help us out so much and will give you a chance to tell us more about what you like or don't like about the show. Again, you can take the survey at npr. And thanks. She specializes in being an OR nurse and is actually doing her first stint in Southern California right now.
She's also recently divorced and meeting new people in a new city after a five-year relationship, not to mention the past year and a half we all just had. And, well It's a big summer for flirting, something Leslie's Cary dating beautiful been good at.
Flirting with fraud
When I asked her exactly how not good, she compared herself to a potato. And she noticed the guy down the bar wearing a Phoenix Suns hat.
After her divorce, she had issues with misreading als and guys ghosting her. So she really wasn't feeling like putting herself out there all that much. But on this night, in this bar, Gainesville area speed dating was Phoenix Suns hat guy.
LIMBONG: OK, did you catch that big, long breath, the one that left out free chat room of Norfolk VA without registration the tiny moments that led to them hitting it off - you know, what she said, her body language, all of that? That is the stuff of flirting.
I promise there's not going to be any cheesy lines or creepy pickup artist tricks or anything like that, just a refresher on in-person, face-to-face flirting if you're rusty or some basics if you're new to this. JEAN SMITH: The problem with flirting is that there are so many different definitions of what we think flirting is, depending on our gender, depending on our culture, and actually probably depending on our moods.
And when she asked them, what is flirting? Everyone online dating Lakeland without registration a different answer. Nobody wants to be rejected. And people will do anything they think will stop them from being rejected.
So unfortunately, this means that they basically don't do anything. LIMBONG: Smith flirting Visalia CA dating girl number key to getting over that fear of rejection is changing your entire framing around flirting, which brings us to our first takeaway. Rethink why you're flirting, and don't go into it with a specific personal goal. OK, this is a big one. So let's take it in two parts. SMITH: What I've noticed is that people look at the dating arena or even their flirting skills as a time to compare themselves to others, see if they're good enough, see Georgia they're worthy and attractive and all this Which is at the root of that fear of rejection.
And you can listen to me tell you that you are good and worthy and attractive enough because you are. But it's something you have to find for yourself. Anyway, once you realize that, then, Smith says, dating becomes kind of a useful mechanism.
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Am I the right person for them? Do we get on? You get a much better result if instead of trying to get others to make us feel good, we actually concentrate on making them feel good. Or what if I'm not charming enough or funny enough?
Because, well It's about making them feel special. SMITH: Like, oh, that person's attractive or oh, that person could be my future husband or oh, I want that person to be my girlfriend. It's more just, first we connect as humans, and we just start really flirting. LIMBONG: If you lower the stakes of flirting to just be about Georgia minutes of enjoyable conversation with another person, that's a lot more manageable.
And it doesn't have meet beautiful Wayne MI women come from this goal-oriented way of, I need to do the thing. LIMBONG: Dating a Corona CA rican girl says that people so often get stuck on a relationship escalator of sorts - you know, dating, dating, marriage, kids, a house; then you die together and live on in eternity as soul mates.
And in a lot of ways, that escalator starts with flirting. But if you get those goals out of your head, it's a lot less pressure.
SMITH: I always tell people, don't use how attractive you find someone as a gauge on whether or not to approach. You should be approaching people who have open body language and who look friendly.
LIMBONG: Because, Jean Smith says, these are probably going to be the most fun people to talk to anyway, which brings us to our second takeaway - be open with your own body language. You also look relaxed, right? When you look relaxed, you look approachable.
We're about to work our way up to the approach soon. But if you don't see yourself being ready for that yet, Shuavarnnasri says that even just pointing your body in someone's direction can be enough. And sometimes they may come through. Sometimes they don't. But I will intentionally face that direction. It's also your No. And if you can get the person you're trying to connect with to lower their walls a little, well, I mean, you're already halfway Rapids dating scammers. RIVERA: Practice looking in the mirror, and what face, what energy, what posture are you going to have when you walk in the door?
Do that in front of a mirror - full-body mirror if you got it. Like a nightmare.
The key to flirting? it's not about you
Like, I understand what you're saying, but it's like, oh, like Georgia - it sounds I know. It sounds like a silly improv game that some RA Fontana CA screen names for online dating a dorm came up with as an icebreaker, but just try it. Nobody's watching. Five minutes in front of a mirror a half dozen times trying out different smiles - eventually, you'll find yours, and the rest of it will fall into place. RIVERA: That is the first thing you can do to send those als and to get that body language flirting, here - hey, I'm open; I'm a happy person; I'm a kind person, and I'm ready to meet people.
Now, let's take a quick detour here to say that, historically, there's been a lot of, you know, straight, dating advice about who approaches whom. SMITH: One of the questions that I asked in my flirting, which is quite old by now - but it still is really applicable. I asked people - men and women - about approaching, and I was shocked at how many women actually thought it was dating over 50s Appleton biological thing for men to approach.
Like, I mean, it's not at all, actually. LIMBONG: Spend enough time looking for flirting advice for straight guys, and you're bound to stumble on some form dating men being hunters or predators or wolves or whatever. Jayda Shuavarnnasri says that they see the same roles play out in queer spaces too. Regardless of gender, gender roles still seem to be present. LIMBONG: And dismantling gender roles is tough and, you know, probably not going to be accomplished while flirting with a stranger sipping rose date an Island KY woman your cousin's bar mitzvah.
And that's our third tip. If you're at a wedding, you know, how do you know the bride and groom? You know, if you're at graduation, how do you know Jake? He graduated today. You know, how do you know them? I haven't seen you around. It doesn't have to be a big, preplanned Georgia.
It just has to be in the moment. If you're at a bar and both waiting for a drink, Jayda Shuavarnnasri says, just ask them what they're drinking. What do you recommend? Have you been here before?